Perhaps this blog entry is more about personal reflection than one of my 'normal' posts, but I feel as though somehow one of you younger readers might be able to gain something out of this--or perhaps my more mature audience will relate and be inspired? Who knows?
So my 20s... All my life, I envisioned my 20s to be fierce, fabulous, ferocious, and amazing. (Sorry for the break of alliteration...ha ha!) At 16, I knew that once I reached my 20s, I would have reached the end of the turbulent years for me, and, therefore, will have begun to live in such a grand way. It hasn't quite worked out that way...actually, not at all.
Yes...I would have been harsh on her. I can still be harsh on myself for it, hearing thoughts saying things like, "If you didn't quit that job, you wouldn't have had to go without _____" or "If you had stayed stronger, you wouldn't have struggled with ____" and so on and so forth! You know what?! Those thoughts are garbage. These types of thoughts only cause me more anxiety and irritation than they are worth, and they need to stay out in the trash bin with the rest of yesterday's old stuff.
The decisions I made in the past are ones that I feel were the right thing to do, even though it meant a lot of changes--unwanted and perhaps even unnecessary in the eyes of others. But, as a Christian, I see so much more value in the journey these last two years have brought me upon, and I am excited to see where the next two years will bring me. I am rebuilding my life as to shape it in the way that it ought to be, allowing God to have a mightier influence on it, and also to become what I so desire to become, and to obtain the success I am meant to have. Mind you, I don't measure success by quantifiable means, but by the ability to push through and conquer life's challenges without giving up.
Which brings me to my current challenge. I am at a crossroads--where I can continue the same life I've had for the past two years, or move on and do something different. I am ready to make a change in my life that will lead me to a better and different place. In the last blog, I talked about how "change" has so many negative connotations and people are often scared to make deep changes within themselves. (Click HERE to read). For the past couple weeks I have been chewing on my words, thinking about the changes I am ready to make now. Change is a great thing, but it only works if one is ready. I know I am ready for it. But it doesn't make me any less scared!
There's a big life change I am about to make, embarking on a new chapter in my life. While I am nervous and mildly anxious, I came across a scripture on the Huge Love blog by Tiffany Myers:
-that would be one crazy arm tattoo!)
With this in mind, I leave you all, dear readers, lovely friends, beloved family, with this thought:
What is the one thing in your life that you want to change and are you ready for it?
Deep love and peace to you,